We are made in His Image, aren't we?

So I have seen and heard a lot of comments from people, especially recently on dating sites. Some people are so concentrated on physical appearance. Granted, we already knew that...

But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” (1 Samuel 16:7 NIV)

I wish more people wouldn't "judge a book by its cover" and determine people's value by how they look. Granted, that isn't to say that I am perfect, I am only human and fall short of the Glory of God. But I pray that I would look to people's inner beauty, not their outer beauty. That I would not judge people by who they were but see them for who they are becoming. We are all on a constant journey, trying to become more Christlike... Although we will never get there, it is worth striving to be more like Him and to try and live a more holy life.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. (Psalm 139:14 NIV)

So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. (Genesis 1:27 NIV)

I am a Child of the One True King, and I am Wonderfully made in His image. I am constantly working on reminding myself that I am His creation, and each time I put myself down I am insulting His handiwork. I will admit it, it is hard! With the media, and everyone criticizing everyone... About how they don't measure up to someone's earthly standards, it's hard not to get down on yourself for how you fall short of other people's expectations. But we are not in the life to compete against eachother. We are here to glorify God and worship Him in everything that we do.

I pray that someday, God brings me a man who can see me for my inner beauty... To see the person that God made me to be. To see beyond my exterior and my quirks and my weaknesses. Until then I can only wait. For now I will court Jesus, for He is the only man who will not break me down but build me up, give me hope instead of hopelessness, give me strength instead of sorrow.

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. (Proverbs 31:30 NIV)

<3, HollyAnne

Renewing, Restarting, Reinventing

Yes, I know... I have literally 3 posts on this blog. Life happens. Time passes much too quickly. And the things we say we "ought to" or are "going to do" often fall by the wayside.

So much has happened since my last post. So I guess I can summarize it...

I had an amazing experience in Des Moines. I had an amazing job that I did very well at and very much enjoyed. Yes, I did have bad days-- when people yell at you for nothing you have control over. But for the most part it was a great experience. I also had a wonderful supportive church there. Some of the people in that church really touched my life and I am incredibly thankful for them. But it all came to the point that my living situation there was extremely stressful which caused me to miss my family more and in turn made my depression get worse. I spent a week in my room... barely leaving for food... crying constantly... Finally after the urging of my sister I called my mom and asked to come home. I was in Iowa from Sept 16, 2011 till March 27, 2013. It was a little less than a year and a half but I have learned a lot more about myself from that time.

After moving back it took some adjusting... learning to live at home with my parents again, finding a job, etc. And with moving home came dealing with my depression problems and my fears of leaving home and having similar things happen. With time, a change of antidepressants, and God's help I am able to look at the potential of moving without extreme anxiety. I do know at least what God's peace regarding moving feels like, and when that happens again, I will know its time. For now... my place is here. I can tell God has a lot to teach me about not only Himself... but about myself.

About a month ago, I became very unhappy... the dynamics of my job had changed immensely, it was out of my control and I didn't see it as a positive. It didn't seem like the direction I wanted to move with my life or my career. I had gone from an Account Manager to basically a Receptionist. I missed my job at a Company that constantly recognized me for my successes and improvements. I missed my friends. I missed working with people my own age who I felt related to me. I wanted to leave. I guess that is my reaction when I don't get my way... To Run Away. 

After speaking with my supervisor about my unhappiness, I took a step back to realize I was just trying to derive all of my worth from my position, my job, my standing, etc. No wonder why I was unhappy! Yes I wasn't using men to give me my worth... but I was using my job-A thing. Why do I do this? Bad habits die hard, right? 

It took this to realize... life isn't always going to be what you want it to me. You may not look the best, you may not have the perfect job, you may not make the amount of money you wish you could, ... the list goes on and on. But if you are trying to base your worth on the outside, it will leave you empty and miserable. That is what I was... I was empty and miserable. God is using this time as a time of waiting for me... a time for me to draw close to Him, a time to learn how to derive my contentment from Heavenly things not earthly. 

A few weeks ago, I was able to attend a benefit concert in Casper, Wyoming performed by Michael W. Smith. I was raised listening to this man's music, and so I was elated to be able to attend with my mom. The whole night I felt as though God was convicting me on one thing after another as well as telling me things I had forgotten. That He is there for me if I ask him to me. One of thing things that stood out to me was when Michael said, "You can't witness to others until you know who you are in Christ." I had never understood this before.... I have never felt like I was good enough, knowledgeable enough, etc to witness to others. All because I don't know who I am and who I am in Christ. But I guess I continue to have this fear that God will leave me... will decide I'm not good enough... but then I was reminded by a song that Michael sang that night...

"You are the anchor for my soul, You won't let go, You won't let go.." Funny thing is that on our first boat, probably when I was older grade school... we'll say maybe 5th grade. We were out boating on Lake DeSmet and my dad was getting frustrated with us.... He told me to drop the anchor... so I did just that. Needless to say that he didn't mention to attach it to the boat first. I was just doing what he said.... but I watched as the anchor, along with the line all went underwater. I am human. I let go. But God will Never let go. He is the anchor of our souls. He loves us more than we can know. He created us in His image. Its funny how you can hear something so many times and you don't get it until it hits you! I'm finally beginning to understand the depths of God's love for me... yes it has taken about 23 years (I asked God into my heart when I was 3).... but it is now finally sinking in. 

About two weeks after seeing Michael W Smith perform, my mom and I went with a few ladies with special needs from her sunday school class to Gillette, WY to see Matthew West perform. If you have never seen him perform, I highly recommend it. He is so funny, relate-able, and truly has a heart for God and His people. It seemed like most of his songs spoke to my heart but a few I really needed to hear. 

"Hello my name is..." Reminded me that no matter words or names people may give me or I may give myself... it is WIPED Clean by God. I am made new in Him. I am a Child of the One True King, and no one can change that or separate me from him.

"You are wonderfully made." Reminded me that God made me the way I am. He has a reason for each of my strengths and weaknesses. He painted the freckles on my face. When I insult myself, I am insulting God's handiwork. It reminded me to stop comparing myself to others and to just become the best Me I can Be. What better way can I honor God's creation than to live to the fullest of the strengths he gave me and maybe show people my weaknesses. I can only hope that the world can see the works of God on my face.

Its ironic... I have never been a strong writer... I normally hate it... but now that I start writing I find trouble stopping... I have so much more to say. Right now I have to go to bed... so maybe I will write some more tomorrow.

But as for right now... I am...

Renewing myself in Christ...
Restarting my journey on His path...
Reinventing myself to be all that Christ wants me to be.

<3, Holly Anne

God works through eHarmony... & Craigslist?!

It amazes me sometimes how God works...

I started this blog about 8 months ago when I went through a really rough time in my life. I have to admit that I haven't done the things I said I would be doing in that last post. I am embarrassed to say how lazy I HAVE been in my walk with God. Although, I believe that the path I have taken in the last 8 months is leading me closer to where God wants me in life.

The Beginning...

As much as this scares me... I am joining the blogging world. I need a journal of some sort to get out everything that is in my head. So here it goes...